Love is a beautiful thing. But anyone who has ever been experienced it will tell you it is also a complex emotion. Therefore, it manifests in various forms throughout our lives.
For instance, the love you have for your parents takes a different dimension to that for your siblings.
This is true for love in romantic relationships—dating and marriage—as well. While both involve love and commitment, they differ in many ways.
Love in dating can extinguish anytime. You may decide within split seconds to quit dating your partner because of one thing or another. In marriage on the other hand, you must find ways to gravitate towards unconditional love. In other words, the love for your spouse should transcend their shortcomings.
In this piece, we examine the complex and ever-evolving journey called love, with our attention on dating versus marriage. We’ve all experienced the exciting and uncertain terrain of dating, and some of us have also embarked on the lifelong adventure called marriage.
So, let’s explore how love takes on a different shade between these two stages of a relationship. Before we proceed, check out some stats right here:
Statistics on Dating and Marriage
- According to a 2018 survey by the National Family Health Survey, 93% of marriages in India are arranged. This means that the vast majority of Indian couples meet and marry through their families or through a matchmaker.
- Only 3% of marriages in India are love marriages, meaning that the couple met and fell in love on their own.
- The average age at first marriage in India is 25.8 years for women and 28.2 years for men. However, this varies by state and by social class. For example, the average age at first marriage is much lower in rural areas than in urban areas.
- The divorce rate in India is very low, at around 1%. This is one of the lowest divorce rates in the world.
- In India, there is a strong link between marriage and women’s employment. While around 80% of women aged 25 to 29 years in urban India are married, the proportion is only about 44% for men. This means that married women are more likely to be unemployed than married men.
The “Spark of Infatuation” Vs The “Fire of Committed Love”
Remember those butterflies in your stomach during the early stages of dating? What about the intense infatuation, the racing heart, and the constant thoughts of your partner? Ah, those were the days! This is what love in dating feels like.
Dating often revolves around the thrill of the chase, the excitement of discovering someone new. In the wee hours of your dating journey, you take thoughts of your partner to bed and wake up staring at it. It is a time when love is akin to a spark, burning bright but sometimes flickering out.
In contrast, marriage is like a roaring fire. It is built on a foundation of trust, commitment, and shared experiences.
The initial infatuation transforms into a deep, enduring love that withstands the test of time. It’s the kind of love that grows stronger with every passing year, as you weather the storms of life together.
Exploring Vs Building a Future Together
Dating is an adventurous journey of exploration. You get to know your partner’s interests, dreams, and quirks. While dating your partner, you discover shared passions and embark on new experiences. Similarly, both of you are inclined to creating beautiful memories together.
The beautiful thing about dating is that it gives you the freedom to be spontaneous. Simply put, dating comes without the weight of long-term commitments.
On the other hand, a marriage to another person means committing to building a future together with them. It is no longer about you but more like a partnership. You make joint decisions, set common goals, and work towards them hand-in-hand. Both of you will have to sync your individual visions and weave your dreams and aspirations into a tapestry of togetherness.
Unlike dating, marriage brings stability, as you both invest in each other’s growth and support one another’s dreams.
The Chase of Perfection Vs Embracing Imperfections
During the dating phase, there’s often an element of pursuing an idealized version of your partner. You may put your best foot forward, showcasing your most attractive qualities.
Similarly, you might have high expectations of the person you’re dating, searching for someone who checks all the boxes on your mental checklist.
In marriage, you will learn that in the face of imperfections, love ought to ensure. This explains why as a married individual, you must learn to love your partner’s quirks, flaws, and idiosyncrasies. Beyond learning these shortcomings, you must accept them.
There are times that life throws challenges your way. Most likely, your love will be tested. Chances are that you’d begin to notice your lover’s imperfections. During this period, marriage will teach you that love isn’t about finding the perfect person but about seeing the perfect person in an imperfect world.
The War of Pronouns: “Me” Vs “We” ….Individuality and Partnership
When it comes to dating, the focus is on the individual. So, each party often considers protecting their personal feelings. It’s all about “I” and “Me”.
While dating, your inclination is to explore your own desires, ambitions, and personal growth. However, you can maintain a sense of independence is even as you are fostering a connection with your partner.
It’s a time when you’re getting to know yourself and your boundaries in the context of a romantic relationship. Both of you are two separate “individuals” trying to forge something new. In view of this, one can consider dating as an experiment. This gives context to why many relationships do not move past the dating stage.
On the contrary, marriage focuses on the pronouns “we” and “us”. It is a beautiful blend of individuality and partnership. What does this mean?
Well, marriage is about being a team. It has a whole lot to do with supporting each other’s personal growth while nurturing the growth of the relationship. You do not have to replace “me” with “we” outright. Rather, you are prompted to strike a balance between the two. In marriage, you make decisions that consider the needs and aspirations of both individuals.
In short, marriage teaches you that love is not just about your own happiness but the happiness and well-being of your partner as well.
Conclusion
Now you have seen that love takes on different hues during the journey from dating to marriage. It is a beautiful thing while dating. But, once you move to the next stage, which is marriage, it becomes more complex.
It transforms from an exhilarating whirlwind of emotions during dating into a profound and enduring connection through marriage. The former dwells on individuality while the latter blends individuality with partnership.
Remember though, dating and marriage are important stages of love. Each has its own unique beauty and lessons to offer. Therefore, you should embrace the variances and determine what works for you.
Thank You 🙏
- Relationship Quality in Midlife: A Comparison of Dating, Living Apart Together, Cohabitation, and Marriage
- The impacts of marriage, cohabitation and dating relationships on weekly self-reported physical activity in Germany: a 19-year longitudinal study
- Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues
- The Changing Landscape of Love and Marriage
- Relationship Quality in Midlife: A Comparison of Dating, Living Apart Together, Cohabitation, and Marriage
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