Divorce is a reality of marriage that can help exit toxicity and other stifling nuptial problems among couples. In many cases, it provides relief to both parties. Nonetheless, when it is not done properly, divorce can leave a negative impact on the emotional well-being of children from the dissolved marriage.
When parents separate, children often experience a range of emotions, including confusion, sadness, anger, and anxiety. They may never understand the grounds for the divorce, and as such, exhibit negative emotions. It is therefore crucial for parents to prioritize the overall health of their family during this difficult time.
If you are in the process of a divorce, you need to prioritize open communication. This is a great way to minimize the stress of divorce on the emotions of your kids. It does not end there. You can be stressed as well. So, you must find sufficient means to minimize the effects on your mental and physical health.
Statistics
This piece will show you a few of the proactive measures that will help you achieve these objectives. But before we proceed, here are some devastating statistics about divorce and its impact on the emotional health of Children, specific to the United States of America:
- According to a Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report, the divorce rate in the US was 2.5 per 1000 in 2021 (in 45 states and Washington DC).
- A study by Bowling Green State University, US revealed that exactly 1,050,599 women went through divorce in 2018
- The same report disclosed that the divorce rate declined further that year until it got to a 40-year low.
- A recent study also showed that 50% of all American children will witness the end of their parent’s marriage.
Open Communication
Perhaps the most difficult aspect of divorce is communicating openly about it. What obtains in most cases is a situation whereby the divorcees keep the ugly truth away from their kids. This is a big, fundamental mistake anyone can make.
Of course, divorce is a hard pill for children to swallow. In most cases, children inherently feel the need for both parents to be together forever. But then, things they may not be able to comprehend do happen. Therefore, you must develop the courage to let them know about the divorce as soon as possible all the same.
Apart from revealing the new reality to your children on time, you must create an atmosphere for open communication. In other words, you must learn to create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and concerns openly. Endeavor to listen to them attentively and never judge them.
However, there’s another important thing to note. No matter the temptation, avoid criticizing your ex-partner in front of the children. This may contribute to their emotional distress.
Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship
Once divorced, you and your ex-partner must accept co-parenting. This can be stressful for both of you, especially after finding a new relationship. Unfortunately, the effect will be just as stressful on your kids.
As a consequence, you must maintain a positive co-parenting relationship because of the emotional well-being of your children. This is a huge sacrifice, but a “must” for the sake of your kids.
How do you go about this? Simply prioritize effective communication, cooperation, and mutual respect with your ex-spouse.
Not that easy, right? Of course! But with time, you will be able to create a more stable and harmonious environment for your children despite the gap between their parents.
Reassurance and Emotional Support
Divorce sometimes makes children feel responsible for it, leading to them worrying about the future. This explains why both parties must be there for them through the process.
In this regard, the first thing to do is provide them with age-appropriate explanations about the divorce process. Afterward, encourage them to express their feelings and validate their emotions. Eventually, your reassurance and emotional support will help alleviate their anxiety.
Establish Consistent Routines
Divorce often disrupts familiar routines, which can be unsettling for children. Thus, you need to establish new yet consistent daily schedules in areas such as meals, homework, and bedtime. This will provide a sense of stability and security while helping them adjust to their new reality more smoothly.
Closely related to this is the encouragement of healthy coping mechanisms. There are many examples but you may limit them to a few. For instance, you could encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy, such as sports, hobbies, or creative outlets.
Additionally, consider involving them in support groups or therapy sessions that are specifically designed for children of divorced parents. It helps to communicate that divorce happens to numerous other families.
Take Care of You; Stay Sane
Make no mistake. The process of helping your children to deal with divorce can be strenuous for you too. As such, you need to take good care of yourself. This might come in two folds.
First, you need to take care of your own mental and physical health. To achieve this, you should engage in activities that help reduce stress, such as exercise and meditation.
You may seek support from friends and family, especially this that are quite close to you among them. With these people, you can rest assured that you are not alone in dealing with the consequences of your divorce.
The secondary fold to taking care of yourself is for you to seek professional help. Through the expertise of therapists or counselors that specialize in divorce and family dynamics, you can access valuable strategies and support tailored to your unique situation. Their guidance will go a long way in helping your family navigate through the emotional challenges of divorce.
Long Story Short
So far, you must have seen that divorce is undoubtedly a challenging process. It will affect your children more than you’d ever imagine. But then, you can help them navigate the transition with greater resilience by prioritizing the emotional health of your children and implementing the aforementioned strategies.
Now there’s one thing you must remember. Every family is unique. As such, these strategies may require adaptation to suit your specific circumstances.
With time, patience, and ongoing support, you can minimize the emotional effects of divorce on your children and foster their overall well-being. Your efforts will reward you with mental and physical health that is unaffected by the consequences of divorce.
Thank you 🙏
- Divorce and Health: Current Trends and Future Directions
- Parental divorce or separation and children’s mental health
- Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education
- The impact of family structure on the health of children: Effects of divorce
- Parental decisions to divorce and have additional children among families with children with cerebral palsy: Evidence from Swedish longitudinal and administrative data
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